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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24699943">Dreaming Reality</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternalle/pseuds/Eternalle'>Eternalle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5, Persona Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Akira and Ren is different person, Friendship/Love, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, no beta we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:35:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,845</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24699943</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternalle/pseuds/Eternalle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>During his time in solitary confinement, Akira ponders about his one and only regret-his one and only wish-and he dreams. He dreams about maroon eyes, a serene-looking Palace, jazz club date, emotional discussion in Leblanc with Goro and--was his name Akira? Sense of self blurring after each night of different dreams, Akira finds himself getting lost in another Trickster journey, one with the name of Amamiya Ren that looks just like him. Seeing Goro alive from Ren's eye, Akira nearly succumb to his dreams.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Dreaming Reality</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Kurusu Akira is Persona 5 vanilla protagonist.<br/>Amamiya Ren is Persona 5 Royal protagonist.<br/>Italics is dream sequence.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Steel gray eyes stares to the concrete ceiling of Juvenile Hall, lost in thought. New Year was just three days ago, but it wasn’t exactly festive in where he was, though he could still hear sound of fireworks in the distance. In time of solitude like this—a real solitude, without the voice of a certain cat around—he can’t help but wonders his past actions, regret creeping a little at the edge of his heart. It was not his time as Phantom Thieves that made the regret surfaced; it was the inability to save a certain brown-haired boy that he holds dear in his heart. Times where the two of them exchange simple morning greetings, accidental meeting that resulted in ranked up confidant, and the time where the brown-haired man is by his side and fighting side-by-side were moments he holds dear in his heart. Even though he knew the young detective was to betray them—betray <em>him</em>—he couldn’t deny the pull towards the detective, and he could say the same for the other boy.</p><p>Those lips owned by the brown-haired boy may spew out words of hatred, but his maroon orbs can’t betray what the boy really feels. It mirrors his own in a feeling of longing and adoration; even if the maroon orbs had that envy, rage and hate reflected there, those two feelings shone brighter. They especially shone during those rare nights in Leblanc’s attic, where there are only two of them displaying their true feelings to one another without any masks on their face—Morgana sleeping over at Futaba’s or Haru’s after hours of bribery—as Akira hovered over the flushed detective and whispers of his name was spoken with fervor, Goro’s maroon orb would look up at him with those feelings, raw and unfiltered. Even if those maroon orbs would be guarded again with its envy, rage and hate the next morning as Goro complaints about his aching hips and slight limp, Akira could still see the bits of longing and adoration; as well as regret that builds up when they did it near to the heist of Sae Palace’s.</p><p>The raven-haired boy didn’t know how those maroon orbs look during his time in the interrogation room, though he has a feeling that rage and hatred would be prominent in those maroon orbs; looks of longing and adoration buried as those gloved hands shot his cognitive. Though Akira knew for sure that those feelings were there in the middle of their showdown in the engine room, along with regret that was more prominent this time; he also knew for sure that whatever happened between them, it was mutual, never one-sided however complicated it may be. Those were when his own seed of regret started to sow. The seeds didn’t start to sprout after he left the engine room in heavy step and heavy heart, didn’t sprout after they fought against Shadow Shido and that false god, it started to sprout after he turn himself in, after he <em>really</em> have time to think about himself in solitude.</p><p>He truly did regret not having the ability to save Goro, the only person capable of understanding him on deeper level, the person that holds his love and adoration. Akira closes his eyes, if he focuses hard enough, he could still see those maroon orbs looking back at him, this time without those rage, envy, and hatred in it; only adoration and trust, the maroon somehow darker and colder than how Akira remembers it, evidence of freedom from years of faking and hatred. Akira smiles sadly, if only Goro was able to escape that ark, if only he had been alive this whole time… they could resume where they have left, Akira would support him with whatever he can, would give him all the love he needed. The ex-leader knew that his train of thoughts would hurt him more, but somehow he feel the needs to soak in this feeling of regret in the hopes of getting over it someday; slowly, but surely. He won’t let this regret chain him down in the long run, but in these days of solitude, he will let it grow to bloom fully. Hopefully, when he was released from the Juvenile Hall—which he doesn’t know when—the feeling would already blossom, wilt, and turn into something new. Akira would turn those blossoming regret and pain as his new resolve to strive for the future.</p><p>With a small sigh, Akira felt his consciousness slowly slip away into edges of dreams.</p><p>--</p><p>
  <em>That night, Akira dreams of himself losing a game of billiard with Goro and learned that he was left-handed, dreams of where he playfully ruffled Goro hair and put his fake glasses on him to escape the detective’s fans, dreams of chatting over a mocktail in some Jazz Club, dreams of playing Gun About in some arcades (with Goro dropping hints of his eventual betrayal, which Akira pick up), dreams of an intimate sharing moment in Fuji no Yu about Goro’s mother, dreams of one more billiards game which ended in his win this time, and dreams of having a duel in mementos and holding Goro’s glove and promise.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Akira felt he was content having this imagery shown in his dreams, but then the dreams continues. The scenery of Shibuya changed into the dusty attic of Leblanc with lights off, with Goro underneath him and that face—oh that flushed face that he love so much—and maroon eyes look up at him with those longing and adoration, raw and unfiltered; and those swollen red lips whispered his name fervently.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Ren—Ren… I-I’m close…!”</em>
</p><p><em>The ex-leader should be confused by what Goro addressed him with, but somehow he knew that it was </em>him<em> that Goro addresses. Gasps of each other names ended the scene of Leblanc attic, shifting to another set of imagery.</em></p><p>
  <em>Akira could feel the impending dread even in his dream, as he led the Phantom Thieves further and further into Shido’s Ark. With each recommendation letter in their hands, Akira could feel the dread getting heavier in his heart, though his dream-self didn’t seem to have the same feeling.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Through here?” his dream-self asked the team, voice sounding exactly like himself. Makoto nodded, and his dream-self kicked the vent apart before gesturing the team to follow him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The fight that ensue was not hard, with the white-masked leader shouting orders here and there, the shadows was easily defeated. They move to search for a way into the locked room that holds their last needed recommendation letter. His dreams replayed his memories of Yusuke forced to draw phoenix tattoo, replayed how the fought against the cleaner, but this time his dream-self use a different set of personas than what he used to fight the cleaner back then, some he did not acknowledge having, even.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Suddenly, the scene quickly changes and made the dread grip his heart. In front of his dream-self, now stand a metal wall separating him from his rival, his equal, his <strong>love</strong>. He can hear that voice he loves to hear, rasp from all the shouting from their previous fight, “Let’s make a deal… okay? You won’t say no… will you?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He still remembers how seed of regret begin to materialize in his mind, making its way to his heart in that very moment. But his dream counterpart didn’t seem to have the same thing in his mind. Those steel gray eyes he was very familiar with didn’t hold a single speck of regret, instead he could see hope and trust, as his lips move to voice a reply with firmness in it, “I will hold on to your glove.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He could hear Goro’s raspy chuckle at that reply, commenting on how his dream-self could still say that after that fight, and he could hear the regret and longing on that voice. Regret that things have gone this way… and a longing to be with him—or his dream-self. After that, he heard two gunshot sound across the metal wall.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>--</em>
</p><p>Akira wakes with a gasp and sweat running down his temple. Those gunshot sound still rang clearly in his head. He shakes his head that feels heavy for some reason, and instinctively reach out to his pants left pocket only to realize his pants didn’t have a pocket. He freezes, panic suddenly wash over him as his heart rate begin to raise, he couldn’t have misplaced that black glove, right? Akira sits up immediately, wide eyes scanning the room he is in. As his eyes took in the scenery around him, he registered gray concrete walls, concrete floor, a toilet in the corner of the room, and the metal bar in front of him. Mind finally catching up to reality, Akira closes his eyes, evens his breathing and felt his heart rate slow down to its normal rate. He only started thinking about his feelings about one week ago and its already making him this disoriented? Maybe he needs more consideration in letting this feeling grow.</p><p>‘<em>No, it must be because of that dream… it felt oddly real. I wonder why that is,</em>’ Akira wonders in his mind. He let out a shaky sigh before running his finger through his hair, ‘<em>Damn, I really thought I lost that glove… get yourself together, Akira. You never even had it in the first place.</em>’</p><p>He hears footsteps belonging to some warden echoes outside his cell. The black-haired boy then proceeds to put his feet down, ready to start his new day, even though every day consist of mostly him keeping himself busy with thoughts about ‘what ifs’ moment and replaying memories about his journey last year.</p><p>--</p><p>
  <em>Akira dreams again. He dreams of white cityscape, going to the temple with a girl wearing red ribbon, and his group of friends behaving strangely. He watches as his dream-self sat in one of Leblanc’s chair, looking at the scene in front of him with eyebrows knitted, eyes laden with confusion. Said scene consist of Sojiro, Futaba, human Morgana, and seemingly alive and healthy Isshiki Wakaba (he doesn’t know how he know the last two, but he just knows somehow) chatting merrily over the food. The bell of Leblanc suddenly ring, indicating a customer, and in comes Goro looking alive and well. His dream-self looked surprised but relieved at the same time at the sight of the detective. The scene then shifts to the laundromat in front of Leblanc.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Let’s make a new deal,” Goro said, looking at him with a small smirk. Those maroon orbs Akira adored so much now looked rather cold and hard around the edge, but somehow still holds adoration and this time it holds respect and trust as well.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A sudden incoming phone call to the black-haired boy cellphone shifts the scene to another imagery. A Palace painted mostly in white greet the three person that just enter the Metaverse. His dream-self, Akechi, and a girl with outfit that resemble his outfit (which he knew was named Kasumi Yoshizawa, somehow) and Goro looks around the place before Akira hears his voice saying with playful tone and a small smirk, “Using your true outfit?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Goro scoffs, “Yoshizawa-san aside, I don’t think I need to keep up appearance of the prim and proper detective prince anymore.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Akira heard himself laugh, “I’m glad you’re comfortable with your own skin now.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Save the chatting for later. We need to move now,” Goro said with slight annoyance in his tone. Though Akira knew it’s not pure annoyance, he can sense the something else under it. Akira would wager it was happiness, he’s certain Goro would be happy being true to himself after years of faking and putting up appearance.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Right, let’s go in then senpai, Akechi-san!” he hears Yoshizawa said and the three of them start to move to the elevator.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The scene then shifts to Yoshizawa carried by a man wearing white coat, with his dream-self and Goro on the other side as the two boy battles again a black shadow with yellow lining. He watched as his dream-self and Goro unleash some kind of secret move against the shadow with him yelling ‘Crow!’ and Goro slashing brutally against the shadow. Somehow, he feels strangely proud seeing Goro let himself loose like that, and his dream-self surely share the same sentiment as he smirks after shooting the shadow off.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As Akira was observing this new Goro and smiling dumbly to himself, promising himself somehow that he won’t forget this dream when he wakes up later, the scene shifts abruptly. This time his dream-self and Goro was facing two shadows and… he doesn’t know if the thing between those two shadows is a shadow or a persona. As the two of them clearly had difficulties facing against this opponent, Akira somehow could feel the rush of adrenaline his dream-self feels.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Shit! This fight will never end in this state!” Goro shouts as the two of them guards against the incoming attack.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Akira felt his heart rate goes up when their opponent unleashes their attack. As his dream-self and Goro put on a defensive stance, a sudden back of a boy with blond hair he knew so much intrude on his field of vision—</em>
</p><p>--</p><p>Akira opens his eyes as he took a deep breath, heart still beating fast in his ribcage. That dream felt so real he could feel the needs to fill his lungs with as much oxygen as possible, just like he was the one in that battle and not his dream-self. The ex-leader then closes his eyes again as he tries to regain his breath and calm his heart down.</p><p>‘<em>It’s getting more real… what does this means?</em>’ he thoughts after successfully calming himself down. He didn’t immediately forget these dreams like any other dreams he had had, he could even still clearly recall yesterday’s dream. The fight felt real, the knowledge of everything that happened in his dream suddenly there in his bank of memories and—</p><p><em>Wait</em>.</p><p>Steel gray orbs widen in shocked revelation. He knows. <em>He knows</em> about how Morgana suddenly turn into a human, how Ann and Shiho living their high-school life in piece without history of Kamoshida’s abuse, how Ryuji is still in the track team without knee injury, how Futaba now living happily with Sojiro and Wakaba, how Yusuke is still under the tutelage of Madarame with Sayuri finally getting its recognition, how Makoto lives happily with her sister and father, how Haru happily helps Okumura Foods grow with her father by her side, how Goro is still alive and is the one taking his place back in December, and knowledge of two other person named Yoshizawa Kasumi and Maruki Takuto as well as their progress in gymnastics and cognitive psience paper, respectively.</p><p>“I think I’m going crazy…,” Akira whispers to himself in shaky voice. He truly didn’t predict that his regret would be this big to the point of losing himself in the sequence of his own dreams.</p><p>Someone said dreams exists to fulfill a wish one person has. Though he did wish Goro was still alive and well, he didn’t expect his dream would be so extreme as to weave a story about Goro taking his place, him and Goro going together to an unknown Palace and to suddenly gave some memories and knowledge he was sure he didn’t ever have. If only the dream were true, maybe he wouldn’t be in this cell right now, picturing ‘what if’ moments should the detective never put a barrier between them. His imagination was always wild, but it really did go beyond wild this time. Akira sighs, “My regret truly run deep aren’t they… Goro, if only you’re here and alive, maybe I—"</p><p>Goro face suddenly flash in his mind, with a small smirk that he didn’t remember seeing ever, but he felt that he has <em>indeed </em>saw those expression a few times. It was not an unfamiliar expression his mind just made up, it was <em>real, </em>and <em>he has seen it</em>. A few more expressions of the brown-haired boy then proceed to flash in his mind, an expression of disdain, expression of ponder, and—</p><p>Akira sits up abruptly, running both his hands along his face, “Damn… I don’t even remember he ever making that expression… but I swear I’ve seen it somewhere… shit, I feel like I have two different set of memories now.”</p><p>After letting out a shaky sigh, he proceeds to do something else that would hopefully avert his mind attention to something other than these sudden overlapping memories in his head. Maybe recalling his moments with his confidants outside of his Phantom Thieves circle would help, or maybe recalling some old memories from his hometown would work better because it doesn’t have any connection to his shady activities in Tokyo. Nevertheless, Akira steels himself so he won’t be caught up in those new memories.</p><p>--</p><p>
  <em>Akira opens his eyes to meet a familiar ceiling of Leblanc’s attic, Morgana still sleep peacefully beside him. Weird, he remembers he was not supposed to be here, he should be in his cell now… shouldn’t he? No, he must have mistaken the blue ceiling of his cell in Velvet Room to a concrete cell ceiling. Akira sit up and stretch his hands, waking Morgana up in his process.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Huh…? You’re awake already?” Morgana asks with voice still heavy with sleep, “How surprising, maybe we’d have a snowstorm today.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hey, waking up early is not a crime you know,” Akira huffs as he started his morning routine before going to school. Morgana yawns before he walks to jump on the table and sits beside Akira’s school bag, waiting for the owner to finish his routine.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just as Akira grab his bag with Morgana inside, the black cat speaks up, “Are we going to the Palace today, Ren?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Akira stop in his tracks with one foot down the stairs, “What did you just call me?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Morgana looks at him with confusion, “Huh? What’s wrong?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The black-haired boy turns his head so he could see Morgana properly, “Ren. You called me Ren.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If Morgana was a tad confused before, he is most certainly now, “Did you bang your head or something? Amamiya Ren, it’s your name! Who even forget one own name suddenly? Seriously, maybe it was because you woke up earlier than usual.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Akira shake his head and runs his hand across his face, he clearly looks conflicted, “Amamiya… Ren? No, my name is Kurusu Akira—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Image of metal bar and a warden calling him ‘Kurusu Akira’ and a food slide over the bar flashes in his mind. What was that…?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Kurusu… Akira? Oi, are you sure you’re feeling okay? Maybe yesterday Mementos visit was a bit too much. The shadows there are stronger, and you did take considerable damage yesterday,” Morgana now have a look of concern on his face, “Maybe we should take a rest today instead of going to school.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Akira—no, Ren shook his head, “It’s alright, I think it’s because of these dreams I’m having one of these days. I’m okay though, sorry to worry you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Morgana sighs, “Those dreams where you’re in prison? Get a grip Ren. It’s kinda ironic if you fight against this dream world while being disoriented by dreams yourself.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ren laugh and chuck Morgana’s head into his bag, before starting his steps again as Morgana meows his complaints about being handled roughly, “Yeah yeah, like that’ll ever happen.”</em>
</p><p>--</p><p>Ren opens his eye to concrete ceiling. Huh, why was he having this kind of dreams a lot lately? It’s been days that he has this dreams every night now. The leader groans as he moves his stiff limbs. Their progress on the Palace has been good so far, a little bit push and they should be closer to the treasure. On the side, he’s still on his way to help Sumire on her gymnastics journey and understand herself.</p><p>In this dream, Ren knew everything was much the same except for the absence of Sumire and Maruki, with the most blatant difference being Goro, which in this dream was in… uncertain condition, maybe even not alive. But he knew that the <em>real</em> Goro was alive and well <em>and </em>standing by his side again. He trusts Goro to upkeep his end of promise, implying that he also trusts Goro to escape from that damn Ark. He’s somewhat relieved that this was just a dream where he can’t learn about Goro in a deeper level. In this dream, he would only meet and learn about Goro across their ‘coincidental’ meetings, and even if his self in this dream know about Goro’s eventual betrayal, even if the ‘Ren’ and Goro of this dream has the same ambiguous rivalry relationship as him and the real Goro, somehow his relationship with the real Goro feels more intimate somehow.</p><p>The leader gives out a sigh, might as well enjoy this bleak dream of doing nothing other than daydreaming, right? Though he wonders why this dream felt longer than his waking hour, his heart throb with some unknown feeling of something wrong, and why the warden keeps calling him ‘Kurusu Akira’. That’s the name of the person in his dreams, not his name dammit. Ren opted to keep silent about that though, didn’t want to confuse a warden like he did Morgana, it may lead to undesirable circumstances.</p><p>--</p><p>
  <em>“You do know that you better strengthen yourself for the upcoming battle rather than being a sentimental idiot and spend time with me, right?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Goro’s sharp voice can be heard over the voices of other people in Kichijoji and muffled voice of music coming from the Jazz Club below them. Ren had just asked him to hang out over the phone and here they are in front of the club, with Goro looking rather annoyed. Ren gives him a cheeky smile, “Come on. We’ve been to Mementos almost daily for the past weeks. Don’t you think we have ‘strengthened’ ourselves quite well?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The brown-haired detective raises his eyebrow and open his mouth to retort before Ren speaks up before he can, “You didn’t reject my invitation anyway, don’t you also want this?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Goro averts his eyes and grumbles at that with a slight pink dusting his cheeks, embarrassed for being exposed. Ren smirks inwardly at that and proceeds to take the detective hand and drag him to the club. After they took a seat near the singer and served their mocktails, Goro open his mouth to speak, “You really did like this club, huh?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ren nodded in affirmation, “I do like it, mostly because I could see your pretty relaxed face here.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re insufferable,” Goro huffs at the compliment with slight annoyance in his voice, though the slight flush adorning his cheeks seems to betray what he said. Ren laughs at him before opening another topic to discuss for their date that night.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Their discussion didn’t feel all that different from before, their topics span from something simple like their daily life to some philosophical questions Goro usually asks first; though Goro’s replies were sharper and straighter to the point. As the night goes and Goro starts talking about individual happiness, Ren mind starts to wonder. The leader’s mind is suddenly filled with how much he misses this alone time he rarely gets with Goro, then and now; those escapade at nights that they had in his room was even rarer than this.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He really like having Goro around, the detective understands him on deeper level, much deeper than any of his comrades did. Back then, the detective would lower his guard and let his mask loosen a bit during their times in the club, giving Ren a chance to peek beneath his mask, even if it’s just a little. Ren already harbor a feeling towards Goro at that time—the detective’s suspicious attitude aside, Goro manage to worm his way into that special place in his heart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After a few outings and that Mementos duel though, Goro finally gave Ren a chance to uncover his mask, to tap into what’s underneath even if it’s just for a moment and lowers his guard down enough to finally realize his true feeling towards Ren. The chance come in the form of ‘sleepover’ in Leblanc’s attic where Goro willingly let Ren let his mask off, their feeling of affection never spoken aloud but instead were reflected in their actions.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m grateful you’re here right now,” Ren said suddenly while Goro was still speaking. The detective raises his eyebrow as means of asking ‘are you listening to what I’m saying or not’ but Ren ignores it and keep talking, “I never said this out aloud, but after that metal wall separates us, I felt an inkling of doubt that you would survive. But I trust you to survive anyway and I really am grateful for that.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ren smiles at Goro then, a smile full of affection, “Let’s do this again after we come back to our reality.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Goro goes rigid hearing that, suddenly the smile Ren gave him that he loves so much felt like swords stabbing his heart. He averts his eye from Ren and clench his hands atop his lap, hidden from his companion’s eye. Sensing unusual reaction from the detective, Ren open his mouth to speak before the detective cuts him off with a low voice, “Yeah. Let’s do that.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ren knits his eyebrow together, something about that response feels off to him. He wants to ask Goro to elaborate but the detective is quick to change the subject, Ren takes it as Goro didn’t want to talk about that any further, and he complies.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>--</em>
</p><p>Concrete ceiling fill Ren’s vision as he opens his eye. It’s this dream again, his mind registers. It’s been recurring every night now ever since the gang first Mementos visit in January. A small sigh escapes his lip, during this dream he almost can’t do anything besides thinking and daydreaming.</p><p>Sitting up, he remembers that when he wakes up later, Maruki may come and tries to persuade him one last time. Whatever the counsellor is going to say, he’s not going to sway from his decision from returning to the real reality. He’s not going to throw away his hard-earned freedom, all of his precious confidants growth, his happiness from seeing them grow and all of his growth from each of his confidant just for the sake of Maruki’s wishes for everyone to be happy. It’s a beautiful reality, he acknowledges that, but can it truly be called happiness if it was given freely, not gained through hard and rigorous process?</p><p>“<em>…Tricks… my—oice… reach you… not your reali….</em>”</p><p>Ren sits up quickly. He scans his eye across his cell, he thought he heard Lavenza’s voice, but he can’t see any blue butterfly in this cell and he certainly isn’t in Velvet Room right now.</p><p>“<em>…have to… let—egret go!</em>”</p><p>Ren took in a sharp breath and hold his head as suddenly his head pounded painfully. He couldn’t hear Lavenza clearly, her voice reaching him means something must have gone wrong, but he can’t think of a reason why.</p><p>‘<em>I believe that you that you’ll survive, Goro. I’ll hold on to our promise until then.</em>’</p><p>Ren screams, his head feels like it might split as he heard a voice belonging to him said in his mind, one that he didn’t remember ever saying, but at the same time felt like he has said those before. He faintly registers the sound of hurried footsteps down the hall before darkness consumes him.</p><p>--</p><p>
  <em>Leblanc’s bell rings as Goro let Morgana out, leaving him and the leader of Phantom Thieves alone. He turns around to face Ren, said boy have lowered his gaze to the floor. The detective took a deep breath and steels his resolve before walking right in front Ren and said, “I refuse to be stuck under someone else’s thumb for the rest of my days. That’s the path I chose. You just have to stick to your gun and fight him.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ren eye met Goro’s maroon one and he said in a low voice, thick with something akin to sadness, “You already knew from the start, didn’t you?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Goro narrows his eye before replying, “If you knew, will you be able to fight optimally? Your stupid sentimentality and feelings will only get in the way. You know I’m right so no need defense yourself.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The black-haired male grits his teeth at that. Goro was right, if he knew this information from the start, it may affect his decision when Maruki gave him the offer back then in their first visit to the counsellor’s Palace. He’s so happy by Goro being alive, so much that it had blinded him from the possibility that Goro himself might be like President Okumura and Wakaba.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“If we do this, then you’ll—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“So what?” Goro cuts his sentence sharply, with a cold voice he continues, “You know what’s the right decision. We won’t be having discussion about this.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ren lets out an exasperated sigh, emotion starting to get the better of him seeing Goro uncaring attitude about his own life, “I lost you once and now you’re telling me to go through a fight that will end in your—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I said we won’t have discussion about this! I’m sick of not being in full control of my own life, you of all people should know that!” Goro cuts him again with hiss.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You don’t know how it feels when Maruki-sensei drop that information—"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I know how that feels back when I shot your cognition. Stop making excuses and—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re blinded by revenge then and we know your scheme, it’s unknown territory now—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Then you’re just going to agree and let that madman take control of everyone? It’s better to die than having to live under him, so you should just stick with your end of the deal and—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em> “DON’T YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOU?!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Goro freezes, it’s the first time he sees Ren shouts. The leader was so calm and collected during every mission and situation, Goro think the black-haired man didn’t have it in his self to display his emotion so openly like this. The detective fell silent, thought process cease to move as shock fills his head; He doesn’t know if the shock is more because of the shout or because of the content of the shout, those four words never being voiced by any two of them despite evidently being there.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The black-haired man closes his eye and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He knows he has to decide now, but this will be the hardest decision he has to make so far in his career as a Phantom Thieves. After a few deep breaths, Ren mind started to fill with moments of his teammates and confidant. He remembers their struggle to fit in the society, remembers their progress towards accepting themselves, remembers his teammates resolve and he remembers how he had grown from them all and how he had been happy himself to see them grow. Being so selfless almost all the time, he realized now that his one and only selfish desire was and still is Goro; no wonder it rile him up so much hearing how Goro didn’t value his life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ren realizes just how much he loves Goro that he did consider bending to Maruki’s wishes just so Goro would live. Yet, Goro was right; deep down he knows the right decision. He didn’t fight that false god for mankind’s freedom only to be chained down by threats over his love one; only to be a slave to love. He just needs a push in the right direction, and he knows—he knows that Goro knew that he is the only one capable of pushing him to make the right decision; because this decision involves him, and Goro knew Ren would respect his wishes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Opening his steel gray orbs that fills with newfound conviction, Ren speaks as he focuses his gaze directly to Goro’s maroon one, “We will fight. Tomorrow, we will take back our reality.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Goro releases the breath he holds unconsciously, “Yes… that’s what I like to hear.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The detective closes his eye, fusion of Robin Hood and Loki played in his mind, merging together to become Hereward. With this new power, he’s certain it will tip the scales to their favor a bit for the fight tomorrow. The detective then smiles and spins his body around so his back faces Ren, “I’m glad you took the right decision. Then I’ll—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Won’t you stay tonight?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Goro clenched his hands at that voice. As much as he also wants to stay, it will only make the parting hard, so he opens his mouth, “I don’t think I should.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Won’t you let me be selfish, just this once?” Ren asked softly, this time in a most gentle tone Goro had ever heard coming from the leader. It makes the detective’s heart throb painfully. Spinning around to face the leader, Goro said, “It will only—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Except his voice get caught in his throat. Ren is looking at him with a faraway look in his eye, like he expects Goro to just vanish here and there, but conviction earlier is still clear in those orbs. Goro swallows, the look Ren gave made it harder for him to refuse. Averting his eye from that steel gray orbs and hoping he could make his heart throb less painfully, Goro whispers in a soft tone, “Okay. I will.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ren mouth moves to form a small smile, this time filled with sadness and resignation before moving to lock the café’s door while Goro stilled on his spot. A click can be heard as the lock is now in place, but neither male moves an inch from where they stand, back to each other. After a few seconds of silence, the detective moves first, he spins his body to face the younger male and walk slowly to him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Those broad shoulder looks heavy now, with responsibility, burden… and sadness. Clenching his fists, Goro lowers his head, bangs falling to cover his face as he felt his sight’s starting to blur, “This is… hard for me too, you know.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ren spins around and stares at the detective’s head for a few seconds, before moving closer to wrap his arms around the older male waist to hug him and rests his cheeks on top of the older’s head, “I know.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gloved hands move to the younger’s chest and clutch the fabric of the pajamas, gripping it tightly. Moving his head to rests at the younger’s shoulder, Goro says in a shaky voice, “I also want to be with you. But not like this. I want to be with you with my own strength, my own free will. You taught me that, didn’t you? To have a free heart….”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Moving one of his hand to gently stroke the older’s back, Ren kisses the crown of Goro’s head before he says, “Yeah, I guess I did.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Letting out a shaky laugh, the older male said in a hushed tone, “You guess? You really are something else, you know?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ren chuckled softly, “Yeah, you’ve said it many times now.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The atmosphere around them feels warmer as they stay in that spot for a few minutes, with Ren continues to stroke Goro’s back and kissing the detective’s head while said detective just keeps silent and enjoying the warmth of Ren’s body. However, the tranquil moment is broken when Ren’s mind finally registers that his shoulder feels damp in place where Goro rest his head on. The younger quickly broke the hug and cups the older face with both hands, “Hey, what’s wrong?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Goro’s face is red with tears running freely from his maroon orbs. As Ren’s thumbs move to wipe some of the tears from the older’s eyes, gloved hand covers his own hand and Goro whispers with a soft voice, “I love you too.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Steel gray orbs widens, this time it’s his thought process that ceased to move. His heart swell with happiness as well as sadness hearing the four words he didn’t expect would come from the detective’s mouth. Feeling his own eye starts to sting with tears, Ren closes his eye as he leans in.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Two lips met with surprising gentleness that the both of male haven’t experienced before. There had been gentle kisses before, yet while this kiss taste as sweet as it normally is, the weight of their current condition made it more bittersweet. Their lips detach and meet for a few times, before Goro sigh into his lip and says, “Let’s move upstairs.”</em>
</p><p>--</p><p>
  <em>Ren opens his eye, half expecting to see concrete ceiling from his dreams, half-expecting to see Leblanc attic’s ceiling with Goro curled up beside him. He certainly didn’t expect seeing the blue ceiling of his cell in Velvet Room. Sitting up slowly, he realized he’s in the outfit he wears in his jail dreams.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We finally managed to reach you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His head spins to where the voice come from, meeting the yellow gaze of his Velvet Room attendant. Ren rose up to his feet before walking to where Lavenza and Igor are, “What do you mean?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lavenza looks up at him with undecipherable expression as she says, “We have meant to reach to you for quite a while now. But it seems like your situation in the real world has made you—or more accurately, your mind, not able to communicate with us.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ren raises his eyebrow at that, “What do you mean not able to communic—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Suddenly his head pounds painfully as flashes of memories from his reality—or his dream?—started to play like a video. He clutches his head for a while before the pain starts to subside and he looks as Lavenza, “Who—who am I?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The girl dressed in blue looks at him with a conflicted expression before opening her mouth, “Your regret of your inability to save Akechi Goro made your consciousness wander and cling to the Trickster from another timeline; one where they face against new adversary after that malicious false god.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The black-haired man widens his eye and mouth in surprise, “So the dreams where I am the prisoner is my reality, and the dreams where the Thieves fought in the lab Palace is… another reality?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lavenza nods her head, “Yes. For the first few nights, you are only seeing fragments of this other Trickster’s journey, hence why you see the dreams from a third person perspective. Yet your regret grows stronger after the other Trickster met Akechi Goro, resulting in your consciousness latching onto his, therefore making you saw this other Trickster journey in your dreams. This in turn made your mind unstable as your memories converges with memories owned by the other Trickster.”</em>
</p><p><em>The black-haired man mind feels like a hurricane from this revelation, swirls of memories from both </em>Akira<em> and </em>Ren<em> move together in his mind. He doesn’t even know which one is his memory to begin with, as both seems as real as the other.</em></p><p>
  <em>“If you let your regret go, I can untangle the connection holding you to the other Trickster,” Lavenza said, “The decision is on you, though. Once the connection has been broken, your memories of this other Trickster journey will be nothing but a fleeting dream.”</em>
</p><p>“We will fight. Tomorrow, we will take back our reality.<em>”</em></p><p>
  <em>He hears himself say—or is it his other self?—in the back of his mind. That’s right, even if it difficult, he has to accept his reality in which Goro is dead. Swallowing, the black-haired boy replies as he closes his eye, “Okay. Do it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lavenza smiles and she raises her arm, warm blue light appears in both her arm and his head, and slowly… he feels the memories begins to fade. Memories of Sumire, Maruki-sensei, things that happened in the other Trickster journey that he knows isn’t supposed to be there slowly fade into nothing. Before all that memories are gone, he sees another one. One he hasn’t seen before.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was Ren in front of some club and talking with someone that seems like the owner. As they talk, he sees Ren giving a conflicted expression and the owner giving a confused one. He sees Ren hand moves in his pocket and his expression changes from surprise then one full of hope after taking out what was in his pocket—it was one of the black gloves Goro used to wear. He sees as Ren smiles and nod his head to the owner before shoving the glove back into his pocket and walks away.</em>
</p><p><em>“</em>I believe that you that you’ll survive, Goro. I’ll hold on to—<em>”</em></p><p>
  <em>The unfinished whispers ring in his mind mere moments before Lavenza is done sorting through her memories. He opens his eye to Lavenza with a shocked expression.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Is something wrong? I must thank you though, now I feel like myself again,” Akira laughs, “And sorry for dragging you into my mess.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lavenza stay silent for a moment, “…do you see something before I finish my task?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Akira tilts his head. Before Lavenza finish, he did remember seeing something, but he couldn’t recall what. He only remembers the new feeling he get after Lavenza finish, so he replies, “I don’t think I see something, but I do feel hopeful now.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The little girl stares at him with a blank stare for a few seconds before smiling, “Then my task today is finished. You are going back to your world any moments now, we shall meet again tomorrow.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The young boy smiles and he slowly fades as he regains consciousness. After the ex-leader fades completely from the Velvet Room, Lavenza mutters to herself, “Both already finish their journey, yet the feeling of hope was absent in another… was this why the convergent happens? Sister said the wild card is like a number zero with endless possibilites, if two wild cards is to meet… it would become infinite.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yellow eye shifts to stare at Akira’s cell, “Trickster and Akechi Goro….”</em>
</p><p>--</p><p>After coming back to the waking world, Akira finds out that he has been out for three days and had been in the prison infirmary ever since. The doctor said that having no activities besides reflecting and daydreaming may be the reason for his collapse, so from that day onward the warden gave him books to occupy himself with.</p><p>One of the books is about a detective that solves murder mystery, which remind him of certain brown-haired boy. Strangely though, Akira finds himself smile at that, feeling of regret no longer in his heart. Instead, a newfound hope was there; hope that Goro is indeed alive; but even if he is no longer alive though, Akira has decided that he’ll move on in his live while keeping the boy he’s fond of in the special place in his heart.</p><p>That night, Lavenza visits him in his dream and give him The World Arcana, officially ending his journey. Weeks after that, Sae visits him to inform him that his sentence has been rescinded and he’s now a free man without a record. The air he took as he left the prison the next day feels refreshing and energizing; and he’s more than ready to close a chapter in his life and face whatever future he may have with head held high.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm really sorry for the grammar error and mistakes, English is not my first language.<br/>I just need to get this story out of my head after playing Royal, I want bestbois getting their happy ending :")<br/>Epilogue in second chapter! Thank you for reading, constructive comments is appreciated! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Akira decides to spend his summer break in Tokyo, and he get more than he expects.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Heey! Over here!”</p><p>Akira turns his head to where the voice came, and he sees Ann waving her hand to him with Ryuji giving a goofy smile besides her. The ex-leader and his loyal cat companion have just arrived in Yongen-Jaya station to spend their summer break in Tokyo, and his teammates have decided days prior to welcome him on his first day back to Tokyo by picking him up in the station and throwing a party at Leblanc.</p><p> “Man, it’s been ages since we last see you!” Ryuji says while patting his shoulder.</p><p>Akira laughs, “It’s only been like three months you know? And we do keep the chat constant, so no cheesy sentence about missing me.”</p><p>“Hey, it’s not cheesy at all y’know!” Ryuji said defensively. Morgana decides to pop up from Akira’s bag at that moment and says, “Hey Lady Ann, I miss—”</p><p>“Ohhh, if it isn’t Morgana!” Morgana’s word was cut short by Ann going over and patting him in the head, much to Morgana’s enjoyment.</p><p>“Do you guys know that Morgana has made a few cat friend back in my hometown?” Akira says as Morgana purred from Ann scratching his head.</p><p>“For real? Finally decided to become a full-fledged cat now aren’t ya Mona,” Ryuji said as he smirks playfully.</p><p>“What was that you punk?! I am NOT a cat! And I DID NOT make a cat friend!”</p><p>Akira snickered at that while Ann playfully hit him in the shoulder for inciting argument between the blond boy and the cat. The four of them then proceeds to walk to Leblanc while chatting animatedly, with a few stares from passerby that wonders why the hell a blond teenager is shouting to a cat. Arriving at Leblanc, Akira smile grew wider as the rest of the team quickly circles him and bombard him with exclamations of ‘how have you been’ and ‘did you make a new friend’ as he steps into the café.</p><p>“Now, now, let the boy sit first,” Sojiro chuckles as he sees the scene in front of him, missing the days his café is filled with rowdy teenager, “Welcome back, kid.”</p><p>The ex-leader smiles at Sojiro while Futaba push him to sit at the booth, “I’m back.”</p><p>As the day goes on, each of the Thieves shares the story untold yet to the leader, from Yusuke’s new painting to Futaba’s experience in high school. In the middle of the sharing, Makoto told Akira that Sae gave her regard as she can’t come because of her work and the leader said to give her his regard back. The smile never leaves the ex-leader’s face as he watches the playful banter between Futaba and Yusuke and the animated conversation between the rest of the gang. He really misses his friends, that’s why he decided to spend his summer vacation in Tokyo. His daily schedule is already packed though, as he had promised his other confidants to spend time with them.</p><p>Time flies by as they chatted and made to-do activity for after Akira finish his promise, with Sojiro laughing and serving them snacks and drinks whenever needed. Before anyone notices, it was already nighttime and each of them had to go home. Sojiro had gone back to his house at some point and left the café in Akira’s care; leaving the team to clean up before they go back. After seeing the team off at the station and walking Futaba back to her home, Akira finally sees his attic-turned-bedroom for the first time after coming back to Tokyo. Surprisingly, his bedroom seems clean and left as it was before he goes back to his hometown months ago. Morgana leap from his bag to walk and jump at the sofa while Akira turns on the light. The cat says as he stretches his body, “Ah, I miss this place.”</p><p>“Even though you complained about it a lot back in the day?” Akira smile playfully as he rummages through his things that he had send here two days prior, looking for pajamas and bathroom necessities.</p><p>“Hey, I only complained because it was dusty and messy back then.”</p><p>The black-haired boy chuckles at that before he realizes he forgot to pack his soap and shampoo. Groaning, he said to the cat now staring at him from the sofa, “Morgana, I need to go out and buy stuffs. Guard the fort while I’m gone, ‘kay?”</p><p>As Akira stands up and walk to the stairs, Morgana said in a low voice, “Hey, you really have move on, right?”</p><p>Steel gray orbs meet ocean blue orbs, each gauging the others reaction. Morgana is the only one with knowledge of his and Goro’s relationship and about his regret about not being able to save the other boy, partly because the cat never leaves his side. It’s not that he didn’t trust the other Thieves member, but he thinks it’s going to be a hassle explaining to the others that he used to date their enemy, especially to Futaba and Haru. He’s going to come clean if Goro is still alive though, but he’s not, so Morgana is the only one with the privilege of knowing. Akira is grateful that the cat is the most neutral member of the team—well, aside from Yusuke that is.</p><p>“Of course. What made you say that?” Akira replies, one foot already down on the stairs.</p><p>“Well, over the course of our party earlier, you sometimes have a distant look while glancing at the chair that Akechi used to sit,” Morgana says as his tail swish left and right, “So I thought I had to ask.”</p><p>‘<em>Ever the perceptive one,’</em> Akira thinks. The ex-leader sighs softly before answering, “I have, don’t worry about it.”</p><p>Morgana nods at that, seemingly content with his answer and reaction. Akira continues to go downstairs while the cat yawns and curls up. The walk to the convenience store feels nostalgic to him, as familiar air of Yongen-Jaya neighborhood fills his lungs. After buying what he needs and walks back to the café, Akira finds a person in front of said café, wearing a hood and with a hand on the knob, seemingly conflicted as to open the door or not.</p><p>Knitting his eyebrow, Akira looks back to confirm if there was an officer there or not. After he sees the familiar blue sleeve of an officer at the intersection, he approaches the suspicious person and says, “We’re closed for the night, you can come back tomorrow though.”</p><p>The person jumps from his voice and releases his grip on the knob, “Yeah—sorry, I just—”</p><p>Steel gray eye widens in surprise hearing the suspicious’ person voice, and Akira finds his body quickly moves to spin the person around and pulls down said person’s hoodie before his mind can think of anything. His breath stops for a second as he sees the face of the person in front of him.</p><p>“Oof—hey, that was rude—”</p><p> Maroon eye widens as Akira pulls him into a bear hug. He can feel Akira’s body shakes as choked sob comes out from the ex-leader. With a small smile, Goro said as he wraps his arm around Akira’s body, “I’m back, idiot.”</p><p>“Y-you’re alive,” Akira said as he laughs and tears flow freely from his eyes, breaking the hug to look closely at the older boy’s face in his arm. He can’t describe the feeling he’s having right now.</p><p>“I’m sorry I couldn’t contact you sooner…” Goro said as his eye starts to glimmer seeing Akira’s tearful face, “Sae-san told me you’ll come today, I want to tell you I’m going to come but—”</p><p>“It doesn’t matter,” Akira cuts him off, cups his face and says as he closes the gap between them, “I can hear all about your story later, but now… you’re here and alive.”</p><p>Choking a laugh, Goro closes his eye as his tears finally drop and his lip meet Akira’s; mind numb from overflowing happiness from being in the arms of the one he loves; this time from his own accord and effort, from his own true free will.</p><p>That night as two bodies snuggles under the blanket in Leblanc’s attic, Akira feels as if his world is whole again. Staring at the brown-haired boy currently curling into his chest, Akira smiles as he pulls the older boy closer to him and let sleep overcome his senses. He’ll ask about the older boy story tomorrow; this night though, he will savor the presence of the other boy he misses so badly.</p><p>--</p><p>
  <em>“…ugh, what’s with all the kisses, Ren? I’m still sleepy, get off me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Can’t help it, feels like you just came back to my arms again.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Why are you looking at me like that?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“…mmm, I feel so happy that you’re here.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“…don’t be so sappy in the morning.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Feels like you just came back yesterday, you know.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re sleep talking, aren’t you?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Maybe, I’m glad I woke up to see my whole world on my arms though.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“…disgusting. I hate you.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hahaha, I love you too honey.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hands intertwined together with sunlight glinting on the gold band adorning each man ring finger as their lips met together in gentle morning kisses. Deciding to finally start their lazy day, the brown-haired man demands his insufferable husband to pick him up to the bathroom, complaining about his aching hip and butt on the way. Laughter fills the medium-sized apartment, as a black cat in the corner groaning at the couple’s antics.</em>
</p>
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